New York City is a place of many wonders. Top of the Rock! Central Park! Broadway! $1 hot dogs on every street corner! For all of its pros, there are cons, as well. For example, the subway. Not only is the subway falling apart, it can sometimes be filled with, um, an eclectic cast of characters. During your time on the subway, you will inevitably run into these six types of people.
1) The Manspreader
Everybody knows this guy. The one who sits down in a crowded subway car and spreads out like he owns the place. We all want to be comfortable, but some people have the basic human decency to, you know, not invade their fellow subway rider's personal space. The subway sucks. Try not to make it worse by taking up three seats at a time, okay?
2) The Eater
Is there anything worse than trying to get to work in peace but somebody insists on (loudly) eating a foot long hero on the subway next to you? Probably not. It's a similar annoyance to manspreading. Sure, everybody would love to be eating a delicious bowl of spaghetti, but just because you want something doesn't mean you should do it. Some people just know when it's appropriate to whip out their leftover bolognese. Hint: it's not during rush hour on the 6 train.
3) Backpack Guy
One of the most important rules of subway etiquette is to take off your backpack when you board a crowded car. It creates more room for other commuters and limits the number of times you accidentally bump into somebody during the ride. Unfortunately, though, many people refuse to take off their backpacks while riding the subway. Some people even have the nerve to get annoyed when people bump into their backpacks. Don't be Backpack Guy. Backpack Guy is the worst.
4) Drunk People
Running into drunk people on the subway in New York City can happen any time, anywhere. Whether it's early Sunday morning or late on Tuesday night, drunk people always manage to find themselves on the subway. They're loud. They're rowdy. They're annoying. Just cross your fingers and hope they don't vomit.
5) The Person Who Doesn't Know Headphones Exist
Jill Filipovic, a well-known author and lawyer, recently tweeted out what is possibly the most important question of our time, asking "How do people still think it’s ok to watch videos / make FaceTime calls/blast music on their phones without headphones in public?" It may seem like common sense to use your headphones in public spaces like the subway, but you will still inevitably cross paths with people who insist on playing games, listening to music, and taking phone calls without headphones on. Mindblowing.
6) That Guy Who Won't Stop Yelling
People yell on the subway. There is no way to avoid this. Sometimes they will yell about religion. Sometimes they'll yell about being vegan. Sometimes you won't even be able to tell what they're yelling about. Sometimes they might even yell at you. When a yeller makes themselves known, switch cars ASAP.
Do you fall into any of these categories? If you do, time to reevaluate your entire existence.